then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
It's rum buckets o'clock
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Randomize
