you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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