no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Randomize
