I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
Randomize
