i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
