dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
Everyone says I win the strip club
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
