I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Randomize
