you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
I would fuck him just for his dog
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Randomize