So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
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