I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Church boner. Awkwardddd
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize
