No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Randomize
