I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
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