dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
