I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize