Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
