By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Randomize
