So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Soap is not a condiment
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
