I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
