I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Randomize
