My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
Randomize
