It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Randomize
