Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
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