So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize
