Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
