I just threw up on my dentist
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
