I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
