How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Randomize
