i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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