Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
