sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
