I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
