is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
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