i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
