Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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