Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
