And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
