This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize
