dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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