i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
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