Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize