Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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