Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
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