WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
FUCK WHALES
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
