don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
