i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Randomize
