I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Randomize
