I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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