im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Randomize
