Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Randomize
