Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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