I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Randomize
