i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
