ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
Randomize
