ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Randomize
