Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Randomize
