He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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