So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Randomize
