You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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