So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Randomize
