were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
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