If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
Randomize