If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
