So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
