I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
This beer is not sobering me up at all
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
