remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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